PURE

In a perfect world, Nickelback would never leave Sturgis. They'd turn it into their own Branson or Vegas. They'd do pyrotechnic, bombastic, bikini-tastic shows every Thursday through Saturday, with a Sunday matinee on holiday weekends. (Y'know, for the kids.) That, my friends, would be some (highly quarantined) economic development that we all can live with. And Nickelback can put out a DVD every year, just so we know they're still alive. Y'know, because they're Canadian, and it's a national security issue.