I AM COMFORTABLE DISSECTING THIS COMMERCIAL'S GRAMMAR

The first line of Brett Favre's latest Wrangler Jeans commercial drives me nuts, because it's a really lazy piece of writing, even though it's intended as a haiku-like distillation of what Wrangler wants you to hear about their jeans. Never mind that Favre would never actually say something as hackneyed as, "I'm comfortable in jeans that are tough." Sure, he's shoveled his share of locker-room clichés and platitudes over the years. But that line is a fuckin' Madison Avenue disaster.

Every time I hear it, I imagine it as a diagrammed sentence. So, y'know, I had to follow through. I'm sure there are some minor stylistic errors in how I did this, but I feel much better, now that it's done:

Click for a bigger view. And in case you haven't seen the commercial 500 times already: