YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST

STRIKE DELAYS OPENING OF COLD, FLU SEASON

PHOTO: With no children to play with them, these Asian pigs will not be transmitting any viruses to humans this week.

HONG KONG (PCNN) -- Citing lackluster salaries and an overall downturn in public opinion of their trade, the children who professionally frolic with livestock in order to transmit new cold and flu viruses to the globe have gone on strike in at least seven Asian nations. In response, officials delayed the start of cold and flu season to Dec. 17, about three weeks later than expected. The International Youth Brotherhood of Animal-Based Contagion Creators ordered all members to stop working on Tuesday, with the hopes of renegotiating its contracts with major pharmaceutical companies. "We work hard. We make the world sick so it can only be stronger. We deserve more," said Kung Yook Soo, the Korea-based spokesman for the union. "The international conglomerates also should be doing more to improve our image with the public." Virus-transmitters, most of them rural children between the ages of 5 and 17, went on strike in Vietnam, China, Laos, South Korea, Indonesia, Thailand and Malaysia. "People will have to be satisfied with getting sick a little later in the winter," said Mortimer Goncalves, an analyst with the Global Sickness Initiative.

Comments

[rob d]

Good! Whatever gives the scrappy kids of Myanmar a shot.