Every day I log on to my Internet provider, and every day the top headline takes one of three forms: "Bush Mad At Saddam," "Saddam Tells Iraqis To Be Mad At Bush" or "Weapons Inspectors Find Stuff." I have this nagging feeling that I've heard it all before, but in a slightly more tangible form. Oh yeah -- it was Hulk Hogan vs. The Iron Sheik (also available en Español). Except, like, The Iron Sheik was Iranian. Oh well. Do I think Saddam is a good guy? No. He's a gangster, and gangsters tend to meet an end they deserve. But as far as Hollywood scripts go, this one has the plodding pace of a Schwarzenegger vehicle. There needs to be some heaving boobies, some drugs, an errant cruise missile or two, maybe some vomit on a foreign dignitary. See defunct scripts "Clinton" and "Bush One" for ideas. Break glass on "Reagan" and "Carter" only if things get really lame.
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