SPORTS

There was a whole lotta bluster on ESPN this morning about how Indianapolis Colts kicker Mike Vander Jagt should keep his mouth shut because he's, well, a kicker. That's horseshit. There are few things more cliched in sports than the idea that kickers are pussies who don't know anything about football. Sure, many are not tough guys, and some don't know anything about the sport. Thus the cliche. But I think it's fair to assume that some kickers do have an intelligent concept of what makes a good football team. They're on the inside, whether they're gladiators or not. More importantly, they're co-workers of the actual gladiators. That's right -- another great football cliche comes into play: It's a business, with customers and managers and low-level functionaries and analysts and so on. Any fan with half a brain can tell you that the Colts are playoff choke-artists. Vander Jagt just happened to put a little insider spin on the concept. He questioned his co-workers' intangibles (excuse me for using that cliche), not their tactics. Seems fair to me. Tony Dungy is his boss, too. If Vander Jagt were any other starting player but a kicker (even punters seem to get more respect), and he'd said the exact same thing, his credibility never would've been questioned. If he'd criticized the team's offensive schemes, then the backlash might be more valid. Sounds like I have a chip on my shoulder, doesn't it? It's my low tolerance for corporate-heirarchy machismo. Sometimes the grunts and the pussies and the low-level functionaries know exactly what they're talking about. And they can be right without aspiring to be gladiators.