Thank God that CBS's reality-show franchises have room for old farts. As a balding 31-year-old, I am no longer suitable for MTV. This probably has been true for about five years, but whatever. The realization was driven home by this e-mail from the dude who runs the White Stripes listserv, which ain't half bad as far as rocker-promo listservs go. Now, I ain't exactly in a hurry to attend the MTV Movie Awards, but it would be nice to know that my fat ass would be welcome as a stage prop. And I can dance like a muh-fugga, so they don't know what they're missing:
YOU (yes you with the glasses...no, not you in the cardigan) can be ONSTAGE
for the White Stripes performance on the MTV Movie Awards. Here be the specs:
-you're supposed to be dancing onstage, so no wallflowers
-casted fans must "appear" between the ages of 18-25 (damn those ageists at MTV)
-must be available ALL DAY on June 1st for rehearsal and the actual show
-for more information call (818)407-7434 and leave your name and telephone number and you will be called back with all the special info.
-you can also email the above information to email@example.com
-space is limited, blah blah blah, so be quick and HURRY
-if any of you try to pull some of that "Soy Bomb" bull, i will personally come to your front door and hand out a Kentucky-styled whoopin'
so hopefully as many of you on this list as possible can be a part of history. or something resembling it. take care of yourselves and if you're feeling sad, give a little kid a dollar. that always puts a smile on my face. later...ben